Speck

Best laid plans....
I was enthusiastic to start my program! I got up on Saturday, inspired to have a "green" shake for breakfast. (Actually just my regular protein shake with frozen spinach added in).
Then my brother and I went to Fresno. Sam's club is having health screenings every month this year, so we went for that. They're checking blood pressure, cholesterol, and glucose levels. (And they'll check BMI and body fat, too, but I didn't need that). It was OK, my blood pressure is still WAY too high, but it was last time I went to the doctor. I think it's my extra weight. (My mom says stress will increase it too, I'll have to check on that.)

But when we got home, Speck had taken a turn for the worse. She had been wandering through the house in the morning, then, after lunch, my mom realized she hadn't seen her. She found her in my bedroom, kind of underneath our chair. Our guess is she'd tried to get up and failed, and just stayed where she landed. So my mom sat there on the chair, with Speck on her lap until I got home (at least an hour later).

It was almost like she'd had a stroke. Her legs just suddenly wouldn't support her. But they weren't paralyzed. I kept her on my lap the rest of the day and evening. She just laid on her side, mostly not even sleeping, just staring. So we knew the end was coming.
I spent all day Sunday holding her, carrying her around when it seemed like she wanted to move, but couldn't move herself.

She passed away on Sunday night about 9:40 PM.
I was, and am, devastated. Even though I was expecting it, I was unprepared. I was shocked at how much I cried (I'm not a crier).

Yesterday, we buried her in the back yard, just below my bedroom (I can see her little grave from my window). My brother had made a casket for her, and Sunday, I had found some fabric to line it. We had dug the grave on Sunday too. (Because we all knew that if she survived the weekend, I'd have to take her to the Vet to be put to sleep on Monday). My brother had wood-burned her name on the top of the casket. We all gathered to bury her.

So, I didn't get anything done over the weekend or yesterday. No workout (although my brother and I walked to the mailbox to mail some orders yesterday morning).

Debby

Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's delight.  ~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Plans

I'm trying to organize (re-organize) my life.
So I've been writing to-do lists, and trying to set up schedules.
I was doing pretty well with the necessary things for Brown Iris Creations (my jewelry business), but when it comes to the rest of life...

First of all, I tried to set goals for the year. Simple enough. I have a few specific things I want to accomplish, the most important of which is to get re-certified by NASM as a personal trainer. But when I try to take these yearly goals and turn them into day-to-day goals, it's much more difficult.
I know that when it comes to goals you're supposed to plan, and work toward them daily.
But it seems to me that if I work every day toward every goal, I'll need 48-hour days. (I have a tendency to over-reach).
And then there's the planning process- I take forever trying to write out my goals and plans and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything yet.

So, I took yesterday off - from planning and from doing anything that I'd scheduled to do. I worked on cleaning and organizing my living space. I took care of my sick cat (she's 16 years old, and very thin and frail, and she has a cold).

Speck

So, I'll keep trying...

Debby

Saying is one thing and doing is another